‘It is not like i don’t want to like anyone, I just can’t!’

Then as if she has just used up all her energy to give that one last shout, she push against the wall and gradually sat on the floor. 

I sighed.

I turned around and gave mother the signal not to come in. Her worried face unwillingly disappeared behind the door.

‘So…’ I toke out a cigarette from my black skinny jeans pocket, put it in my mouth, was a about to light it , but i stopped and looked at her again.

My twins sister. My depressed little sister. Like a inflated pink balloon sitting at the corner of our bedroom.

She was wearing her baby pink pajamas:  a cute little puff sleeves dress with lace at the bottom. She looked like a fairytale character who was traumatised by some animal was trying to eat her.

Probably a wolf.

‘So…’ what was that I about to say?  I took the cigarette from my month and somehow started counting the little bows on the side of her pajama. May be i didn’t have anything to say after all.

‘Just get out.’ she whispered recklessly.

‘Huh?’

‘I said, Just get out. And leave me alone!’

She suddenly jumped up, and started throwing absolutely everything at me .

( teddy bears, clothes hanger, alarm, pillow etc etc, the sort of stuff you could imagine in a eighteen-year-old girls’ room)  

Here we go. It was the fifth times she did it this fortnight. 

I was not angry. I have learnt that  it is pretty impossible to get annoyed at someone who shares the same reflection. It gave you this surreal feeling- being attacked by yourself.

Is this a dream?

‘Hey, there there.’ I pull her toward me after i managed to avoided a series of attack.

I kissed her on the forehead. I could smell the fruity shampoo on her long brunette hair.

She put her face on my breasts and went all quiet.

But it wasn’t long till she started crying again.

‘There there’ I repeated.

Then I noticed the cigarette isnt in my hand anymore. Where has it gone?